My 2019 Reading List — And the “Main Thing” From Each Book
“A reader lives a thousand lives before he dies . . . The man who never reads lives only one.” – George R.R. Martin
I love to read. I have always loved to read. I was that kid, that when my parents said “lights out”, who was under the covers with a flashlight and a book — reading.
When I was younger I enjoyed the “escape” that a great book offered. Being carried away to the time and place, the scene that the author was describing.
But as I got older, I discovered the power in reading not only as escape, but as a vehicle to bring me more into the Now, more present with myself. I discovered how reading could become a mirror that would allow me to look at myself and see where improvements could be made. I started reading more non-fiction books: biographies, business, technical, professional development books.
I still love to read, but my reading has changed. I still like a good novel now and then, but my reading is more focused on learning and development now. My goal is to read one professional/personal development book a month. I am by no means a speed reader. I definitely tend to be a methodical reader. The book a month cadence works for me to make sure I am spending enough time with a book, but not dragging my feet too much getting through it.
That being said, 2019 was a pretty crazy year for me. Crazy busy, in a good way, working on some large, exciting projects professionally. I came up a little short of my goal this year and only read nine books vs. my twelve book goal.
My goal for each book I read is to get at least one “main thing” out of the book. If there is at least one concept, lesson, or tactic that will somehow benefit me…then I consider the time spent reading the book worthwhile. Sometimes I read a book that is a treasure trove of wisdom. Sometimes I read a book that had one valuable lesson.
Here are the nine books I read in 2019, along with the “main thing” I got out of each one. I am admittedly a little bit of a quote geek, so as an added bonus, I added a favorite quote from each book.
Own the Day, Own Your Life– Aubrey Marcus
Summary: Aubrey Marcus has a podcast on self-optimization that I listen to from time to time. I became aware of this book through his podcast. The book breaks the day down, from the time you wake up to the time you go to bed, and provides suggestions on how to optimize every part of your day. In the book, Marcus provides a slew of small, actionable suggestions to help us get the most out of our day.
Main Thing: Don’t Fear the Future. This sounds kind of cliche, but Marcus provides this advice from a unique perspective of gratitude. If we are able to practice gratitude, and be grateful for everything that happens to us in our lives, then there really is no need to be fearful (of non-life threatening circumstances). Because, in the end, even if we “failed” at something, or did not achieve the results we wanted or expected, we always have the opportunity to learn from all of our life experiences, and to be grateful for the opportunity life presented us to learn. It is very much in the spirit of Frederick Nietzsche’s philosophy of Amor Fati — that we should not only accept, but love, everything that happens to us. The more grateful we are, the less fearful we need to be, because we know we will have gratitude for whatever befalls us.
Favorite Quote:
“If everything that happens to me is something I am grateful for, why am I so anxious about the future?”
Joy on Demand: The Art of Discovering the Happiness Within— Chade-Meng Tan
Summary: Who couldn’t use a little more Joy in their life? Over the last few years I have been practicing Mindfulness Meditation and enjoying it’s benefits. Somewhere along my Mindfulness journey I was introduced to this excellent little book. Chade-Meng Tan was a software engineer at Google who went on to do “mindfulness training” courses there to help fellow Googlers reduce stress and find inner peace. He wrote two books on mindfulness and this is his second.
Main Thing: Joy is Available at All Times. Everything around us is a miracle, everything. The sun, the snow, the stars, the clouds … all we have to do is take a moment to glimpse the world around us to see a hundred miracles. You are a miracle. I mean, do you understand the incredible odds you had to overcome just to be here. Think about it; if your great-great-great-Grandmother had never met your great-great-great-Grandfather…you would not be here. All of these miracles around us are opportunities for Joy, if we choose to see them that way. Meng teaches us in this book that we have the ability to slow down, be mindful, and see the Joy available to us on demand throughout our lives.
Favorite Quote:
“In order to have strong presence, be in the present, treat the person you are interacting with as the most important person in the world, and do your best to serve him or her.”
On the Shortness of Life— Seneca
Summary: A few years ago, I was introduced to the philosophy of Stoicism through Ryan Holiday’s excellent book, The Obstacle is The Way. Stoicism has truly resonated with me as a philosophy of life and has helped me gain more tranquility and objectivity. I believe that all IT professionals can benefit from learning a little more about Stoicism and following Stoic practices. In order to keep my Stoicism sharp, I try to read something every year either about Stoicism or by one of the Stoic philosophers. This year I read this long essay by Seneca on the topic of how much time we really have in our lives.
Main Thing: We Have Plenty of Time, if We Use it Wisely. So, what did you spend your time on today? The last week? The last year? Did you spend it on important things: meaningful time with your family, working towards accomplishing goals, developing yourself personally and professionally? Or did you waste a lot of it: watching TV, surfing the Internet, sleeping in. Look, none of us are perfect, none of us spend 100% of our time on meaningful activities. We are all guilty of procrastinating and wasting time. However, we should never use lack of time as an excuse for not getting our important stuff done. We have all been blessed with more than enough time to accomplish our goals, if we use it wisely.
Favorite Quote:
“It is not that we have a short time to live, but that we waste a lot of it. Life is long enough, and a sufficiently generous amount has been given to us for the highest achievements if it were all well invested.”
Awareness: The Perils and Opportunities of Reality— Anthony De Mello
Summary: I am a huge fan of the Tim Ferriss podcast, and I get a lot of my reading suggestions from Tim and his podcast guests. This is a book Tim has been talking a lot about lately. And I have learned that if Tim is giving a book high praise, that I should read it. He has not let me down yet. This is a life changing kind of book. Not that you will put it down and miraculously be transformed. But it will plant a seed that over time will grow and potentially change your outlook on life. The seed it plants is: Be Present. This book is a series of talks De Mello gave on the topic of being in the Now, being Present. It actually is a fairly quick and easy read, and De Mello is humorous. But the lessons in his writings are are deep and powerful and can help you to be more present.
Main Thing: Be Present. How much of your time do you spend in the past, feeling guilt or regret (over things that we cannot change)? How much time do you spend in the future, feeling fear or anxiety (over things that will probably never come to pass)? This is all wasted time and we are causing ourselves unneeded suffering. Our minds are so busy ruminating over the past or problem-solving for the future that we miss the only real time we have to live — Now. The Now is the only time we can truly live and enjoy our lives, yet we spend so much time in our heads, instead of the present moment, that our lives pass us by. As you go through the day, take time to stop and study the contents of your mind and what you are thinking about. Are you in the past? Are you thinking about the future? If so, gently bring yourself back to the present. What do you see? What do you hear? What do you smell? Even doing this for a few moments a handful of time throughout the day helps us to be more present and peaceful.
Favorite Quote:
“It is something that I discovered, a kind of symphony, a kind of orchestra that plays one melody in your presence, but when you depart the orchestra doesn’t stop. When I meet someone else, it plays another melody, which is also very delightful. And when I’m alone it continues to play. There’s a great repertoire and it never ceases to play.”
The Icarus Deception— Seth Godin
Summary: I am a huge Seth Godin fan. His claim to fame is as a marketer, but he is like Jedi who has so much wisdom to share on just about every topic.. I highly recommending checking out his blog ( https://seths.blog/) for great little insights and pearls of wisdom. He is also a prolific writer. I read his book Linchpin last year. This year, on the suggestion of a good friend, I read this book which is a great follow-up to Linchpin. The premise of the book is based on the myth of Icarus, whose father made him wings made of wax and told him not to fly too close to the sun or they would melt. Of course, Icarus ignored his father and met his demise. The lesson of this tale is that we should play it safe and not “fly too close to the sun.” In this book, Godin challenges us to ignore that lesson, to create art and soar as high as we can.
Main Thing: Be OK with Not Being Done. I don’t know about you, but I tend to get stressed when my to-do list gets too long. I am always chasing after “done.” I am trying to get everything on my list done. I am trying to achieve inbox zero. I am trying to arrive at that magical place where everything is just “done.” But as we all know, that place does not exist. The important lesson I learned from this book is that I can be ok with not being done. That I can be ok with being “undone. ” Now, this knowledge isn’t going to make me rest on my laurels and not try to get stuff done. But it is a subtle lesson that helps remove a little bit of stress when I look at my to-do list, or my Inbox and remind myself it will NEVER be all done…and that is ok.
Favorite Quote:
“Facing a sea of infinity it is easy to despair, sure that you will never reach dry land, never have the sense of accomplishment of saying, “I’m done.” At the same time, to be finished, done, complete–this is a bit like being dead. The challenge is to reset your comfort level to be ok with the undone, with the cycle of never ending. It’s a dance, not a grind.”
The Consolations of Philosophy— Alain de Botton
Summary: Another guest on Tim Ferriss’ podcast that I found interesting so I decided to dive a little bit further and give one of his books a shot. As a fan of Stoicism, I can get into philosophy, so I decided to give this book a shot. It takes the works of six of the greatest thinkers (Socrates, Epicurus, Seneca, Montaigne, Schopenhauer, and Nietzsche) and distills their teachings down to practical advice we can use in our modern, day-to-day struggles. Seneca teaches us how to deal with frustration. Epicurus has great advice on how to deal with money issues (not having enough). It is a great read and really fascinating to learn how philosophers from centuries, and even millennia, ago wrote about the same struggles that we experience today, and the advice they gave way back then is still practical today.
Main Thing: Take the Good With the Bad. There was a lot to learn from all of these great thinkers, but this lesson from the Nietzsche chapter on how to deal with difficulties resonated with me. There is a lot of bad stuff that happens in this world that we have little, or no control over. People behave in ways that disappoint us or let us down. We can expend a lot of negative energy fighting and railing against these things; getting sad and depressed, or anxious over things we have absolutely no control over. Or we can try to find a way to accept these things that are as much a part of our lives as the “good” things that happen to us. They are all notes in the symphony of our lives.
Nietzsche also developed the concept of Amor Fati, or “love of fate”; that we should love (not just accept) everything that has happened to us. Why hate the bad stuff that has happened to us, there is nothing we can do about it now, and in the end it couldn’t have happened any other way. Instead, why not love everything that happened, or is happening, to you. A lot of those things you thought were “bad” ended up teaching you important lessons that made you the person you are today. Maybe today’s “bad thing” is tomorrow’s important lesson?
Favorite Quote:
“We must learn to suffer whatever we cannot avoid. Our life is composed, like the harmony of the world, of discords as well as different tones, sweet and harsh, sharp and flat, soft and loud If a musician liked only some of them, what could he sing? He has got to know how to use all of them and blend them together. So too must we with good and ill which are of one substance with our life.” -Nietzsche
The Bhagavad Gita— Eknath Easwaran
Summary: So, one day I met an old friend for lunch, and he is just beaming with positive energy. He is talking about unselfish giving and being of service to others. After doing a little digging into what got him so fired up, he tells me he has recently read the Bhagavad Gita (or simply, the “Gita”) and it really had an impact on him. Now, this was a few years ago. I looked into the Gita on Amazon, and I have to admit, a couple thousand year old Hindu spiritual epic poem did not exactly seem like my cup of tea. So, I filed this one away, but I would, from time to time, remember the impact it had on my good friend and kept telling myself I had to read it. This last year I finally got around to reading it and I am grateful that I did. It really is a valuable read about the epic battle between good and evil that rages inside all of us. I am not a practicing Hindu, and know little, if anything, about Hinduism, but the Gita is full of great lessons that transcend a specific religious belief. It addresses the question of what constitutes good and virtuous life. If your reading tastes are a little more adventurous, I would recommend you give The Gita a shot.
Main Thing: Help Others…and Do Not Expect Anything in Return. One of the main topics covered in The Gita is “selfless action”. It is the belief that one should act in accordance with their “dharma” (or true nature) and, basically, not care about the results. The results do not matter, all that matters is you acted in the appropriate way. It’s a powerful lesson. How often in our lives do we act with only the outcome in mind: the recognition, the reward, the praise we hope to receive. When we do not receive the outcome, or recognition, we had hoped for we feel disappointed and let down. The Gita teaches us that we should not feel this way; the action is the reward. Now, as goal driven and ambitions professionals, this concept may seem a little too passive, a little too laid back. Not at all. There is room to allow selfless action to reside inside us along with our ambition. The key is to focus on taking the appropriate action, and let the results come as they may.
Favorite Quote:
“The spiritually minded, who eat in the spirit of service, are freed from their sins; but the selfish, who prepare food for their own satisfaction, eat sin.”
The Prophet— Khalil Gibran
Summary: Written as the teachings of a “prophet” who shares his wisdom with the people of a far-away land, this book is short and inspirational read. In the book, the Prophet” gives sermons on topics ranging from Law to Love. Though written in 1923, it is thoroughly readable, and full of practical wisdom that applies to our lives today. Though the book is quasi-spiritual, it shows no real religious affiliation, so it can be read from a secular perspective and enjoyed purely for the wonderful lessons it has to share.
Main Thing: I Don’t Own My Children. As parents, we tend to think of our children like possessions. If you are a parent, think about for a second. We talk to our kids in a way we way we do not talk to anyone else and we place expectations on our kids that we do not place on anyone else. Let’s face it; we kind of treat them like glorified pets that we train and groom and put out in the world. It is important for me to remember that my children are their own unique and special human beings. It is not my job to mold them into what I think they should be. Of course, it is my job to instill them with a sense of moral ethics, a sense of “right and wrong”, but after that I have to step back a little and let them become their own people.
Favorite Quote:
“Your children are not your children. They are the sons and daughters of Life’s longing for itself. They come through you but not from you, And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.”
Extreme Ownership— Jocko Willink and Lief Babin
Summary: Written by former Navy Seals, Jocko Willink and Lief Babin, this book takes a look at leadership from a military standpoint. The main premise of the concept of Extreme Ownership is that the leader is responsible for EVERYTHING that happens on their team. Successes, failures, wins, and losses–all are the ultimate responsibility of the leader. That is not to say that the leader should take all the credit for the successes of their team, but they do own the responsibility of making sure their team succeeds. The authors served together during the Iraq war, and they discuss leadership principles through the lens of front line action on the battlefield.
Main Thing: Set Clear Expectations and Manage to Them. As a manager it is easy to praise and recognize your team members for success. Everyone likes the good feelings created by recognizing and rewarding. But it is equally important (maybe even more important) to quickly correct behaviors that go against organizational and team standards. It is critical as a leader to set clear expectations for your team, and then manage them to those standards. It isn’t fun all the time; disciplinary talks can be uncomfortable at best sometimes. But, if you do not procrastinate, and address performance issues immediately, the discussions become more coaching in nature than disciplinary. It is your responsibility as a leader to have those tough conversations, when necessary.
Favorite Quote:
“When it comes to standards, as a leader, it’s not what you preach, it’s what you tolerate.”
So there you have it. The nine professional/personal development books I read in 2019 and the “main thing” I learned from each one. Reading is such a critical habit. Make the time this year to invest in yourself through reading. Maybe you found some suggestions in the list above?
Happy reading!
